Jump to content

Funny stuff ?!!


Peyoteros
 Share

Recommended Posts

Banned from Spar!!!

 

Banned from Spar - Didn't like shopping there anyway!

 

Yesterday I was at my local Spar buying a large bag of Winalot dog food for my loyal pet and was in the checkout queue when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

 

What did she think I had, an elephant?

 

On impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Winalot Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn’t, because I ended up in hospital last time; but I'd lost 2 stone before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

 

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with Winalot nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again.

 

(I have to mention here that practically everyone in queue was now enthralled with my story.)

 

Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me.

 

I told her no, I stepped off the kerb to sniff an Irish Setter's arse and a car hit me.

 

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.

 

I'm now banned from Spar.

  • Like 4

Novice or Veteran looking for an alternative MP career?

Click me to commence your Journey of Pillage and Plunder!

[sIGPIC][/sIGPIC]

'....And when I get to Heaven, to St Peter I will tell....

One more Soldier reporting Sir, I've served my time in Hell......'

Link to comment
Share on other sites

LOL, what a man you are smile.gif

 

 

Dont get me started on Spar.

 

You know the Spar on Mid Stocket road, basically across the road from BBC TV.

 

I went in for a packet of cigarettes last year and the old biddy asked me for proof of age :| which I didnt have thus she wouldnt sell me cigarettes.

 

It wouldnt be so bad had I not been 6 feet 6, the start of a beard growing as I hadnt shaved in 2 or 3 days and being nearly 40 years old, you only need to be 16 to be able to buy them legally in the uk.

 

Dumb Biatch.


Edited by bumfire
  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

[...]

 

WTF, seriously? LOL, if that were the case in Austria, they would have banned entire populations by now. You would have to assault someone to get banned, i suppose.

Good, fast, cheap. Choose any two.

Come let's eat grandpa!

Use punctuation, save lives!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

LOL, what a man you are smile.gif

 

 

Dont get me started on Spar.

 

You know the Spar on Mid Stocket road, basically across the road from BBC TV.

 

I went in for a packet of cigarettes last year and the old biddy asked me for proof of age :| which I didnt have thus she wouldnt sell me cigarettes.

 

It wouldnt be so bad had I not been 6 feet 6, the start of a beard growing as I hadnt shaved in 2 or 3 days and being nearly 40 years old, you only need to be 16 to be able to buy them legally in the uk.

 

Dumb Biatch.

 

Where I live age is never a problem. My dad used to sent me to buy smokes for him when I was 9 and I still see that happening sometimes with other dads sending their kids in the kiosk to buy smokes for them (too lazy to get up from the armchair I guess?).


Edited by Innerloop
  • Like 1
 

Intel i7 6700k / Corsair H100i v2 / Asus Prime Z-270P / Corsair Dominator 32GB 3200Mhz / Corsair AX760 / 1x Samsung SSD 970 Evo Plus 500Gb + 1 Corsair MP600 1TB / EVGA RTX 3080ti XC3 Ultra / Fractal Design Meshify 2 / HOTAS Warthog / TFRP Rudder / TrackIR 5 / Dell U2515h 25" Monitor 1440p

Link to comment
Share on other sites

ROFL!

 

Banned from Spar - Didn't like shopping there anyway!

 

Yesterday I was at my local Spar buying a large bag of Winalot dog food for my loyal pet and was in the checkout queue when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

 

What did she think I had, an elephant?

 

On impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Winalot Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn’t, because I ended up in hospital last time; but I'd lost 2 stone before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

 

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with Winalot nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again.

 

(I have to mention here that practically everyone in queue was now enthralled with my story.)

 

Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me.

 

I told her no, I stepped off the kerb to sniff an Irish Setter's arse and a car hit me.

 

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.

 

I'm now banned from Spar.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hassata, my old cat used to do that, it was grey coloured aswell, the cause for my cat was heart failure causing lack of oxygen, it was exactly like the cat in the video, but he suffered from it for a few years before he passed.

 

I suspect that the cat in the video is suffering something similar ?

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

 Share

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...