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Funny stuff ?!!


Peyoteros

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If any of you out there (and I'm sure there are some), have some funny stuff to tell or share, please use this thread, maybe one day it will grow up to the sticky :P

And now lets have some Laugh ! :megalol:

Muahaha (I said laugh, now damn it! jeez)

 

One of mine all time favorite is Ali G, played by English comedian Sacha Noam Baron Cohen, here are some of hes Ali G:

 

I could add some more, but you can check yourself...

 

Some other funny stuff...

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L--CgcTgnUs

OK, one more, I love Japanese practical jokes, they push to the limits

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MN-UeUmNwkw

 

Hope You liked it :D

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‎"Eagle Dynamics" - simulating human madness since 1991

 

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Achmed

 

Achmed-Jingle Bombs

 

 

Siiillleeennnnccccce - I Kiiiiiiiiiiiiiilllllllllllllllllllllll You! :D

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Novice or Veteran looking for an alternative MP career?

Click me to commence your Journey of Pillage and Plunder!

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'....And when I get to Heaven, to St Peter I will tell....

One more Soldier reporting Sir, I've served my time in Hell......'

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Rules of dating a Drill Instructors daughter

 

Rule One:

If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.

 

Rule Two:

You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.

Rule Three:

I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose his compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

Rule Four:

I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.

Rule Five:

It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early."

Rule Six:

I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.

Rule Seven:

As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?

Rule Eight:

The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka - zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which features chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.

Rule Nine:

Do not lie to me. On issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me. Rule Ten:

Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car - there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.

 

I really feel for the poor guy who date this girl.....

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  • 4 weeks later...
  • 4 weeks later...
  • 2 weeks later...

Laughter - Indeed the Best Medicine!

 

TWO OLD MEN DECIDE THEY ARE CLOSE TO THEIR LAST DAYS AND DECIDE TO HAVE A LAST NIGHT ON THE TOWN.

 

AFTER A FEW DRINKS, THEY END UP AT THE LOCAL BROTHEL THE MADAM TAKES ONE LOOK AT THE TWO OLD GEEZERS AND WHISPERS TO HER MANAGER,

 

'GO UP TO THE FIRST TWO BEDROOMS AND PUT AN INFLATED DOLL IN EACH BED. THESE TWO ARE SO OLD AND DRUNK; I'M NOT WASTING TWO OF MY GIRLS ON THEM. THEY WON'T KNOW THE DIFFERENCE.'

 

THE MANAGER DOES AS HE IS TOLD AND THE TWO OLD MEN GO UPSTAIRS AND TAKE CARE OF THEIR BUSINESS.

 

AS THEY ARE WALKING HOME THE FIRST MAN SAYS, 'YOU KNOW, I THINK MY GIRL WAS DEAD!'

 

'DEAD?' SAYS HIS FRIEND, 'WHY DO YOU SAY THAT?'

 

WELL, SHE NEVER MOVED OR MADE A SOUND ALL THE TIME I WAS LOVING HER.

 

HIS FRIEND SAYS, 'COULD BE WORSE... I THINK MINE WAS A WITCH.'

 

'A WITCH?...WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT?'

 

'WELL, I WAS MAKING LOVE TO HER, KISSING HER ON THE NECK, AND I GAVE HER A LITTLE BITE, THEN SHE FARTED AND FLEW OUT THE WINDOW... TOOK MY TEETH WITH HER!'

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Novice or Veteran looking for an alternative MP career?

Click me to commence your Journey of Pillage and Plunder!

[sIGPIC][/sIGPIC]

'....And when I get to Heaven, to St Peter I will tell....

One more Soldier reporting Sir, I've served my time in Hell......'

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Dave Chapelle in San Francisco;

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qxOIbQsm3F0&feature=related

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fsPT0gU2UzU&feature=related

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O3ptN9TmGYc&feature=related

 

Also search Utube for; Dave Chapelle -- Killing Them Softly :D

 

Be Warned Extremely Bad language and I'm not talking about grammar :smilewink:

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Cozmo.

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Minimum effort, maximum satisfaction.

 

CDDS Tutorial Version 3. | Main Screen Mods.

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Dave Chapelle in San Francisco;

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qxOIbQsm3F0&feature=related

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fsPT0gU2UzU&feature=related

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O3ptN9TmGYc&feature=related

 

Also search Utube for; Dave Chapelle -- Killing Them Softly :D

 

Be Warned Extremely Bad language and I'm not talking about grammar :smilewink:

 

 

These are real funny, thanks for sharing mon... :D (still laughing) good one

:thumbup:

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‎"Eagle Dynamics" - simulating human madness since 1991

 

[sIGPIC][/sIGPIC]

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Paste some jam on it and see what happens!

 

In fact I have a cat and a jam and some toast and spare belt. One problem thou, I'm vegetarian.


Edited by Peyoteros
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‎"Eagle Dynamics" - simulating human madness since 1991

 

[sIGPIC][/sIGPIC]

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