I found that the absolute key thing with F18 AAR is to forget the basket altogether, just block it out from your active vision. Form up on the wing tip light, slightly low and around 2 hose lengths back and concentrate fully on the fuel hose pod.
Drift across, still under the wing until lined up and stable then push up to the hose while focused on the pod, not the basket.
Sounds counterintuitive to ignore the thing you are actually trying to hit, but the extra distance to the hose pod smooths out minor variations and adjustments a lot and you stay a lot more stable. T